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column.  Geert Host on his struggles with Proximus: “Their solution? I had to move… to my own address” | Showbiz

column. Geert Host on his struggles with Proximus: “Their solution? I had to move… to my own address” | Showbiz

ShowbizEvery week, Geert Host (63 years old) presents his unique and satirical vision of the world in the film “Dag Allemaal”.

I live in joyful expectation. I've been living in joyful anticipation since November 2022. Then I received an email from Proximus telling me that “fiber” was coming. My life will improve quickly as a result. Lightning fast even! The benefits are listed: faster, louder, better. It hardly promised a full return to a thick head of hair. The benefits that Proximus mentioned weren't actually any benefits for me. I was satisfied with the situation as it was. When I pressed the switch there was a light and when I turned it the tap water came out. Life was good in 2022. Until that email came along.

I didn't need this fiber optic cable. I couldn't tell Proximus about it, because all the emails came from No Reply. It's not a Japanese name, but it means, as Martin Milland puts it in a gender-fluid way: “Don't call me.” From that moment on, I was harassed with emails and phone calls from Proximus. I had to stay home because a contractor was about to demolish the sidewalk. Another contractor drills a hole in the wall to run the cable inside. There is something else that will make the connection. Very fast.

In January 2023, the street was broken up with an ax and a shovel. While I was giving the men a thermos of hot coffee, I asked them if they were allowed to work in freezing temperatures? No problem! These bears came from the Carpathians and the temperature reaches minus 10 degrees Celsius in the summer there. They whistled merrily, stretching the cable along the fronts. Sand over it and Vladimir finished. In June 2023, Proximus announced that it would quickly deliver my unwanted cable. “Impossible, because there is no cable,” a Luxembourg resident offered. They will be back soon. They did this in September, November and twice in December. Always the same conclusion: “This is not possible, there is no cable yet.” Meanwhile, the administration came up with miraculous solutions: I had to move to my own address (!), and I had to submit an application so that I could cancel it (!) and submit it again (!).

This morning I received a call from the Proximus robot that they are coming on January 9, 2024 to deliver the high-speed cable. I can confirm via push buttons. Unfortunately, “Not possible, no cable yet” was not on the list. The coffee is ready and I will reassure the technician that everything will be fine. never.

2024 will be an exciting year. I can feel it in the water (downstairs).

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